Playing the Canon’s First Birthday: Favorite Search Terms!

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Over in downtown Los Angeles, the entire video game industry gathers to drool over their shiny new toys and indulge in some good ol’ fashioned Schadenfreude as Emperor Microsoft stumbles clothes-less into the next generation. But over the hill here in Burbank, we’re celebrating a much more monumental occasion: The first anniversary of Playing the Canon, over five hundred spambots’ gaming blog of choice!

As my blog has touched the hearts of thousands of visitors looking for Mass Effect walkthroughs, forced instead to wade fruitlessly through boring critical analysis or what-fucking-ever, I thought a fun birthday celebration would be sharing some of my favorite search terms that have brought people to Playing the Canon, your number one source for hardcore Alyx Vance pornography!

  • femshep players are horny nerds
  • halflaif morgan friman
  • whoopee cushion fetish
  • glados stripper
  • pong is so 1972
  • celine and julie go boating tickle
  • mass effect sex stories
  • who plays the canon [Ed. Note: I like to think of this as my “I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS”]
  • african artists sometimes simplify or exaggerate human features. which body part do they create larger to indicate that it has a special role in guiding
  • jonathan blow douchebag
  • “that tickles” mass effect doom
  • monkey play long rope game cartoon
  • back to the future wii sports
  • sergeant calhoun gets fucked
  • hero’s duty poop
  • wreck-it ralph esoteric themes
  • wreck-it ralph is really fucking dumb
  • i have a crush on fix it felix
  • i can fix guy in cube form from wreck it ralph
  • mass effect 2 shiala why are you green
  • alyx vance love
  • alyx vance moans
  • alyx vance undead
  • alyx vance gets fucked hard
  • alyx vance super deep throat
  • flinstones jetsons chrono trigger

Happy birthday to me! I’ll try to do a little more tonally consistent celebration update later this week, but for now, I’ve got some steamy Garry’s Mod scripted events to program.

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6 thoughts on “Playing the Canon’s First Birthday: Favorite Search Terms!

  1. Joseph says:

    This is hilarious! Happy Birthday and keep writing:P

  2. Haha! Congrats and keep it up! :D

  3. simpleek says:

    Happy Birthday to your blog! I love all these search terms. My favorites are “hero’s duty poop” and “celine and julie go boating tickle.” Whatever gets someone to your blog, right? ;) Although, it goes to show you that there are a ton of weirdos out there on the interwebs.

    • Joel Newman says:

      I also really like “pong is so 1972” for some reason. Just imagining someone saying a literal fact like that in a Valley Girl voice (“Pong is SOOOO 1972”) like it’s an insult is definitely hilarious.

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